I don't know what's going on with me. But I had a talk w/Wanda yesterday night, and you know, she's right. I do realize that I'm more attracted to the 'Jerk' 'Bad boy' type. And it's not a good thing, because I know I constantly say how I'm done with jerks, and how I need to meet a nice boy, who knows how to treat a girl. And now that I've found that nice boy, I find myself not interested. How sad is that? It's my Junior year, I tell myself that I'll stay off the market, focus on school, life, being happy. But I always find myself w/a feeling in my stomach that makes me wanna find the right guy to be with. Why can't there be a jerkbadboy type that knows how to treat a girl? The type that knows when to play games, and when not to. I've met that before, and I sure as hell want to meet that again. I enjoy the games, the chase. I get an adrenaline rush sometimes, that makes me attracted to someone, infatuated sometimes even. You know? I've gotten that feeling, only thing is it wasn't with the right person. Sometimes I look back and regret at that one thing, but what's a life filled with regrets? Certainly not a life I want to live. So no regrets. Sometimes I'm just stuck asking myself why I make the same mistakes over and over again. Halfway through high school, and I'm ready to settle down. Meet a good guy for me, stable, knows where he wants to go, what to do, gets how I am. Someone I could get used to, and could count on, daily. When I meet this guy, and when I fall for this guy, you'll be the first to know. I'm constantly changing, I meet new people, I drop friends. It's whatever, life is life! I'm capable of having a serious relationship. But whatever, just as long as I've got my icys, fam, and bests, I'm good to go.
Let's go to a party soon, hit me up, swoop me, let's have some fun.
